Monday 1 September 2014

Story

I have been on the planet Pluto for over 5 million years, our once loved planet Earth was raided by the aliens of Uranus  so we were forced to move to the lonely planet Pluto. Only three of us had survived the attack, my mum Joe, and my best mate Derryn. The landing was rough and we damaged or main motor and our radar so we were flying blind, we had to leave the ship it was about to go under the ice. We walked about half a mile until we found a temporary shelter to stay and rest, we were looking for life on Pluto. We were walking and running low on food, I look down to my half ripped shoes and see a weird shadow it didn't look like mums or Derryn's we have a look behind us to make sure nothing following our footprints and trying to hunt us down and our mouths dropped, it was my dad. We all ran as fast as we could but I tripped over and fell to my face, I think that I broke my arm so I  stopped and screamed until dad was there to comfort me. I wake up in a hospital on pluto and see all of my friends surrounding me.

1 comment:

  1. The story was set up very well you could have used some dialogue and make the story flow a little bit better and the final time when you wrote Pluto you did not use a capital. One last thing you could have used something like spacesuits because there is no air on Pluto and in your story you just walked out with nothing on to protect yourself.
    Good Story

    ReplyDelete